Divorce is the last thing that God would want to see happen to any marriage. In fact the Bible says God hates divorce. (Mal. 2:16) That it is a hateful thing; the breaking of covenant. Yet they still happen. Today in America, over 50% of all marriages end in divorce, even in Christian marriages, far more than any other country. It is also a picture of how far we have come from God. We are to be His Bride and yet many have left Him for some one or something else. How is it that so many people have such a disregard for God's heart and toward marriage. Those are very sad statistic and reveal a very serious problem in the world. It also and shows that the premise of most marriage is out of order.
Marriage is to be based on covenant and the will of God, not on human emotions or ones preference. Yet people still get married and divorced despite God's intention. However, His grace is still there to help people get through them despite their actions. Some couples separate for a time before they make a drastic decision, supposedly to reevaluate their priorities, but do they ever really ask God what He thinks or what they should do. What happened to the vows people make, "for better or worse, tell death do us part?" Maybe that's one of the reasons why Jesus tell us not to make vows.
Marriage is to be based on covenant and the will of God, not on human emotions or ones preference. Yet people still get married and divorced despite God's intention. However, His grace is still there to help people get through them despite their actions. Some couples separate for a time before they make a drastic decision, supposedly to reevaluate their priorities, but do they ever really ask God what He thinks or what they should do. What happened to the vows people make, "for better or worse, tell death do us part?" Maybe that's one of the reasons why Jesus tell us not to make vows.
However, after years of effort and misery, no one should bind themselves to a law that says, "Thou shall not divorce." Something in the past I had always believed, but I've gotten to known the Fathers heart a little better. God still hates divorce, but God's grace can also bring healing to a damaged soul through separation or even divorce. However no one should use His grace as a license to sin. Others separated for a season in order to fulfill God's plan, just like the apostle Peter, but he didn't realize it at the time he left. Sometimes it's also necessary for the sake of peace. Some hah found His grace even in a remarriage. But the damage divorce or remarriage does to a family is unbelievable, especially if there are small children or even teenagers involved.
The separation of parents through a divorce devastates children's lives, and it is one of the main reason for our fatherless society around the world. There's no more standard or plum line to go by when the father is out of the picture, thus we have young people looking for love in all the wrong ways, and an increase in homosexuality. Poor fathering is also responsible for some of this, even if it is out of ignorance.
The separation of parents through a divorce devastates children's lives, and it is one of the main reason for our fatherless society around the world. There's no more standard or plum line to go by when the father is out of the picture, thus we have young people looking for love in all the wrong ways, and an increase in homosexuality. Poor fathering is also responsible for some of this, even if it is out of ignorance.
However, there are also couples who have tried to make marriage work for the sake of children or religious principles, only to live a life of misery, regrets and pretense, and for children to see and experiences this kind of situation is also damaging. Many never get to experience proper nurturing, happiness or freedom that God intended for them at that time, but some eventually do with God's help.
Most of my life I didn't understand where God was leading me. Yet, I now realize that for the most part it was His will, including my marriage. In my life, I have made many mistake, but they were also part of His plan. (Hopefully we learn from our mistakes and see the love and grace of God in them.) Everything seems to happen for a reason in order to bring us to salvation and to fulfill His plans for our lives. The scripture says,"All things work together for good..."
Even as Christians, we often go through life stumbling, not quite sure of how or what to do. But it shouldn't be that way. God wants to help us if we will let Him. Prayer is the key, and it's necessary in marriages. In the past, I have tried to please my wife and family and sometimes I failed, because of my pride, doubts and fears. But life isn't just about pleasing others, but obeying God. Christ was also leading me in a way that few understood, including myself at time, and that too can affect relationships. There were times I also had a bad attitude and that did some damage. Sure there were times I could have done things differently, but hindsight always better. We all made mistakes, and now it’s in God's hands. Everyone needs restoration and it will be done in His time and way. One night the Lord said, "Let Me take the blame for the mistakes." Wow! Now that's a God thing.
To carry the burden of self-hatred, guilt, shame or blame for a failed marriages will not help or benefit anyone to move forward in Christ. We are forgiven and we all need to learn to forgive each other, including our spouse or ex-spouse and ourselves, and one shouldn't bring those mistakes and sins up again. The later part of that statement is the real challenge, but it still needs be done. Then we can truly walk as God’s sons and daughter. Total forgiveness is not an option it's mandatory.
The apostle Paul warned that there would be issue for those who choose to marry. "Such will have troubles in this life, and I am trying to spare you." He goes on to say that there would be divided interests and concern for the things of this world. (I Corinthians 7:28-35) And in some marriages those conflicts cause more damage than good. However, nothing is impossible with God, even restoring a broken marriage. It often take lots of patience and effort on every ones part.
God wants us to be free, even in marriage, to love and serve Him and the Body of Christ. But, in many marriages there has been capitulation and compromise and the church has sanctioned it. We should understand the ways of God before we get married, and not make promises we're unable to keep later on. Many think they know better and that they're in love. But, because of ignorance, rebellion, doubts, fear and lust many marriages have suffered and then we make excuses.
Can you imagine how this must grieve the Heavenly Father. The Bible says, "What God has join together let no man separate." Let no man separate, that includes woman. If there is a separation let it be by God not man. However, God's grace covers a multitude of sins, even the ones of divorce. Let agape love be your guide, it's described in 1Corinthians 13, and that's the foundation for the church, and for all marriages. Jesus Christ is love.
A divorce goes against the very fibers of God's heart. Yet, one should not make 'never to divorce' a law unto themselves, but to follow Christ regardless of the cost or the ramifications with family, including the logistics of it all. Christ wants us to be totally free to follow Him, and sometimes that may require a divorce. Yet, it is still possible to be totally free even in a marriage, but I've rarely seen it.
Marriage requires a oneness of body, soul and spirit. There should be no competition or jealousy in a marriage, because there is none in the Kingdom of Heaven. In a marriage there should be the desire to see the advancement of the Kingdom of God, not the building of one’s own personal kingdom as we see so often today.
For any marriage to prosper it is vital for both husband and wife to be on the same page. But more importantly, it is absolutely imperative to be on the same page with God. This goes without saying, if you're going to fulfill the plan and the call on your life. There is a 30, 60, and 100 fold Christian or the acceptable, the good and perfect will of God. Yet not many marriages have been able to fulfill that ultimate goal of God. Most men and women have been content with less passion for God, and others have seen their marriage and ministry suffer, because of a greater passion to be on the same page with God. During those marriages, someone must have wanted more attention or desired a nicer home or something they thought was better, and the end result was either compromise or a divorce.
To follow Christ one must be willing to forsake everything, even a happy marriage. It was said that God asked, Kathryn Kuhlman to separate from her husband if she wanted a greater anointing of God's power in her life. She did and so have a few others men and women in history, but they are the exception to God's standard. And their will still be those who God chooses to be radical for Him. Just as there were those chosen to be a Nazirites like Samson or called to celibate like Jeremiah.
Even anointed men such as Benny Hinn, Arthur Blessitt, or Todd Bentley never thought a divorce would happen to them when they first got married. Yet, being obedient to God's will there is often a great cost and sacrifice involved. Can you imagine what the prophet Ezekiel must have felt when one day God told him that He was going to take his wife, that he loved, in order to be a prophecy, and God did it that very evening. And Ezekiel was told not to weep or mourn outwardly, because of it. (Ezekiel 24 :15-24) Wow!
Even anointed men such as Benny Hinn, Arthur Blessitt, or Todd Bentley never thought a divorce would happen to them when they first got married. Yet, being obedient to God's will there is often a great cost and sacrifice involved. Can you imagine what the prophet Ezekiel must have felt when one day God told him that He was going to take his wife, that he loved, in order to be a prophecy, and God did it that very evening. And Ezekiel was told not to weep or mourn outwardly, because of it. (Ezekiel 24 :15-24) Wow!
God's will is to supersede family, friends and even the church. That's hard for most Christians to really comprehend. None the less it's still true. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you truly want to walk in greater anointing and authority there will be greater sacrifices. The Jesus said, anyone who is not willing to leave houses, land and family and take up their own cross, or those who looks back; they are not worthy of the kingdom of Heaven. God required Abraham to "leave" and to "go" and Abraham obeyed God. The same applied for Jesus' disciples and it still applies to all His disciples today. Maybe that's why there are more followers and less disciples of Jesus. (Matthew 10:37-39 and Luke 16:33) Many are called, but few are chosen, yet we are all part of the same Body of Christ.
How do you tell someone, "to go away" or "I'm leaving" I think of Abraham having to send Ishmael away. For thirteen years Abraham believed that his son was the promised child, only to be told by God that He had another plan. Abraham made a mistake, but God still blessed Ishmael, because of His promise. Yet, how could his son believe this separations and the way it was done was God's will, but it was.
This is not to imply that some marriage or children are mistakes, it's just that some things don't turn out the way one would have hoped or expected. Some marriage and children are stolen by satan, but God is still in control. The cost of serving The Master come in many forms, but the reward is greater. He will repay and restore all things. There are many examples of this found throughout the Bible. Some marriages started off good and others were not so good and others changed along the way. Looking back at Ezekiel's marriage again, we need to understand that he loved his wife, yet God still took his wife, "the desire of his eye," just to prove a point; to be a sign, or make an example of her, for other people to see and understand the harsh consequences of their sin. This prophecy and judgment still applies today. God still uses various means of separations and divorce to prove a point also. There are no guarantees in life apart from Him and His love. Jesus is Lord, and we must abide and keep our eyes focused on Him.
Note: God's heart is still breaking over peoples actions, divorce and separation from His children. The Heavenly Father will do whatever is necessary to bring them back home where they can see and know how much He really loves and cares for them. He's the best Husband. and we can trust Christ even in our darkest hours. He is our Comforter and Restorer. Also, if more people really got to know His heart there would be fewer divorces. My prayer is to see marriages happen the way He planned and others restored, especially the one with Jesus as Lord.
