There has been a big turn of events for
me this past month, at least in my thought regarding marriage,
mainly mine. I am not an authority on marriage by a long shot, and
I'm not going to try and fool you. However, I do know someone who is, and
that is our Heavenly Father.
We have all observed marriages, in many ways have used them to form
our thoughts and opinions regarding marriage. Plus we have also heard
many teachers, ministers preach on love and marriage. But for some
reason we see very few happy and successful ones today, even in the
church. Where the divorce rate is as high as non-believers. The
reason for that is because of the Fall, where the first mistakes was
made by the first couple, Adam and Eve. They chose to disregard God’s
words, and Adam listened or yielded to his wife’s desires instead.
This is not about blame, they both made mistakes and acted as one in
flesh not in spirit with their Father.
Since that time those sinful actions
have filtered down through time to where life and marriage is far
from what it was meant to be, and mine was no exception. Adam was
meant to love His wife the way their Father loved him and his wife.
However, those instincts gave way to foolish desires, and we have
been fumbling the ball ever since.
God gave us many example of how He
brought two people together. When Adam saw his wife he loved her, so
did Jacob and Isaac when they first met, even Ruth and Boaz. Some
married others without a choice or say in the matter. (300 Benjamin's
men stole their bride to be, to restore their tribe ) Every situation
was different. There was no courtship, no falling in love, but a
knowing that this was the one meant for them or part of God's
plan. I believe that should still be our main objective or criteria
when considering marriage. We should know God's heart on the matter
of who and when and where and how it is to take place, and then
decide. Yet as we study those marriages and many others in the Bible
we see very few marriages that were always happy. Because, happiness is
not the foundation of marriage, it is love. But what kind of love
would it take to please God in this holy union He desire for us to
have for our spouse. Solomon wrote a book on love, “Song of Songs” means the
greatest of songs; portraying two lovers. It is also a prophetic
picture of the marriage of Christ with His bride. Yet very few seem
to capture the true message. So God sent His son, Jesus Christ to set
the example. Then the apostles write briefly on the subject of
marriage and how it was to be lived out within the Body of Christ.
Here's one of them:
“Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for
her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through
the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without
stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In
this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own
bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever
hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as
Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. ‘For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound
mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church.
However, each one
of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband. Wives, be submissive to you husbands, as to the
Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the heard
of the church...But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the
wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” (Eph.
5:22-32)
Wow, how many husbands and marriages do
you see like that? Not very many I bet. The husband is suppose to be
the head and set the example. Unfortunately, many have fallen into
the same bad habit as Adam and I did. He blamed his wife, and it has
continued ever since. Adam could have warned her, or refused to
give-in to her weakness, setting an example for all mankind. But
he failed to heed God's words, and ignored his first love, Abba
Father.
We are to love our wives as Christ loves us, and with that same spirit of LOVE. To love and obey God first, and then love others as ourselves. If the husband has chosen to follow Christ, he should be lead by His Spirit and Word, spelled out in First Corinthians chapter 13. This is the Father's love. It is also the nature of Christ, and to be our nature as well as our creed:
“Love
is patient, love is kind and love is not jealous; love is not
arrogant, does not act unbecoming; it does not seek its own, is not
provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not
rejoices in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bears all
things , believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails...
I
became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a
mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I
will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith,
hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is LOVE.”
Human
love seems to fall short in all these areas and have made a lot of
excuses, especially in letting go of wrongs suffered—endures all
things--and love never fails. God's love and forgiveness is the foundation
in any relationship that's meant to last.
As I said before, I plan to go back to
my wife, in order to allow God to restore our marriage. I have hurt
her many times throughout our marriage, and been a real jerk at times, and she deserved better than what she got. Yet I
believe I can to a better job this time, because of a number of
things I have just shared, plus from being here in Mexico.
My wife, Roberta, is a godly women and
I'm a different man still maturing. However, it may take some time to
restore her trust in me. But that's okay I deserved a kick in the
pants. Restoration would be totally impossible without Christ’ love
and rebukes. After all God disciplines every son, including me. But,
I'm also encouraged by His promise too; “I will fix what is broken
and restore and make all things new,” and God does not lie and I'm
betting everything on that. Restoration from God is always better
than what it was before.
I believe our new marriage can be an
inspiration and a prophetic picture of His desire for all marriages,
His church and for the Nation of Israel; to become One with Him. God
is also using other sons to do the same thing. Then heaven can truly
come to earth again through that Oneness we share in Him, and
“restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts
of the children to their fathers,” and His children toward the
Heavenly Father. And we can all walk with Abba in the new Garden of
Eden.
I would like to close with a portions
of some things Sheldon sent me on God’s love:
“Beloved” in the New Testament is connected to the Greek word agape. This makes it a very special word, one that reveals the Heavenly Father’s special kind of love, a love that flows to people from Christ and flows through people when they are broken vessels who reveal his nature.
The most perfect meaning I can find for the word is: TO LOVE. Beloved means TO LOVE. It denotes both the object of love and the action of love. The Heavenly Father spoke from heaven, saying to Jesus, “You are my TO LOVE Son, the object of my active love.” Apostle Paul said to the Ephesians, “God has made you acceptable within my TO LOVE Son, and this means my focus and love actions are toward you.” And the Bride in Song of Songs said, “You are my TO LOVE man, and I am your TO LOVE woman.”
Again, beloved denotes both the object and the action of love.
It is evident you love God, and that is good...On a divine level, you love Christ and are dedicated to him. You have made God your object of love. And that is good. But... from the time you put a ring on your wife’s finger, you were meant to look only at her, pouring your human passions, dreams, hopes, secrets, gifts, joys, hurts, and overflow of your relationship with Christ into her.”
(I pray that all husband can take these words to the MAX, including
me.)
