The other day I went to a barber salon. Now that may not sound like a big deal to you, but it was for me. This was the first time in over thirty four years, because my wife had always cut my hair. I had been given a SportClips haircut coupon at a hockey game that we had been given tickets. I'm not a hockey fan, but it was a fun date. Later on, my wife encouraged me to use the coupon, and so I did. For only ten dollars I got the works—haircut, massage chair while my hair was washed, scalp massage and hot towels applied to my face. Wow, I never felt so pampered.
The young lady cutting my hair was in her mid twenty's and was getting married in a couple of weeks. As she worked on me, we talked about a number of things, including the kind of books we read, how we each met our mate and raising children. I also mention that it doesn't really matter how long you have known each other before you get married, because you'll have the rest of your life to do that. But you will also encounter many unexpected things that will make it challenging for both of you, including the possibility of unfaithfulness and willing to forgive each others mistakes. She said that would never happen and explained. She told her fiancée that she didn't want to go to prison, because if he ever cheated on her she would kill him. I said, "what?" And she repeated it, "I would kill him,” and then she laughed.
Now that's not how a marriage should end. However, my haircut was finished and it was time for me to leave. I thanked her and gave her a hug and said God bless you. All we can do sometimes is plant a seed and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
The young lady cutting my hair was in her mid twenty's and was getting married in a couple of weeks. As she worked on me, we talked about a number of things, including the kind of books we read, how we each met our mate and raising children. I also mention that it doesn't really matter how long you have known each other before you get married, because you'll have the rest of your life to do that. But you will also encounter many unexpected things that will make it challenging for both of you, including the possibility of unfaithfulness and willing to forgive each others mistakes. She said that would never happen and explained. She told her fiancée that she didn't want to go to prison, because if he ever cheated on her she would kill him. I said, "what?" And she repeated it, "I would kill him,” and then she laughed.
Now that's not how a marriage should end. However, my haircut was finished and it was time for me to leave. I thanked her and gave her a hug and said God bless you. All we can do sometimes is plant a seed and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
After I left there I thought more about her statement. To me, a threat doesn't sound like a very good way to start a marriage. But then neither are many other ways. I don't claim to be an authority on marriage. However, I am married and I've personally seen and heard of a lot of other marriages in my sixty plus years. I also have my opinions and preferences like everyone else. Yet, I also now know the heart of the heavenly Father a little better. And so I have written a small book on the subject of marriage, based on the Bible and God's heart. However, I have not published it nor have posted it on my blog. Maybe someday, and maybe I'll have more incite to add to it later on. But I will share a few highlights on what is a huge subject.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment that should end when you die, not in a court of law. It should not be entered into based on human emotions, or physical attraction, but on following God's will first. Then the emotions and the physical will follow at the right time and place. Most marriages haven't happen that way, including my own. I just didn't care as much as I should have, because I was not taught how to honor God or a women the way I should, and because of that I made a lot of selfish decisions in the past.
"This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds." (Hebrews 10:16)
Marriage is a covenant established by God, it is also a picture of our heavenly covenant (Ephesian 5:23). Our emotions and desires as human beings will always be there, but we must make them subject to His will and plans regarding anything especially marriage. Unfortunately, many people don't understand this and the result leads to all kinds of abuse, and too often divorces in every culture around the world.
The main thing that helps marriages is God's love and forgiveness. This is conveyed through communication; not only in just words, but also in our actions. That love will honor and respect and it always forgive. It's was spelled out to us by the Apostle Paul in First Corinthians Chapter 13—this is "true love" agape love.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." (Corinthians 13:4-8)
Know this that when the right time comes for God's children to marry, He does not necessarily guarantee that a marriage will be a "happy every after" experience, even though that is what we would all hope for. There are many rewards and benefits to marriages, but there will also be challenging times and humbling situations. They can be hard and very painful at times and some can even be horrendous. The Bible gives us many examples of people whose marriage didn't go as they had hoped, yet it was still God's will. There was Jacob's, Samson's, David's, Ezekiel's, and even Mary and Joseph's to name a few, but they were still all a part of God's greater plan.
When we act presumptuous in getting married, the outcome can be even more disastrous as we have all seen or experienced. But the bottom line—marriage is all about love and forgiveness. You can't separate the two. It's just like when a man and a women come together; they become one. It was all in God's design, and what God has joined together let no man separate, except for God Himself.
Note: God's love, grace and mercy is always there to help us through anyone experiences, regardless of what happens or the outcome.
