"These are burning questions that every disciple must answer in total candor. Do you hunger for Jesus Christ? Do you yearn to spend time alone with Him in prayer? Is He the most important person in your life? Does He fill your soul like a song of joy? Is He on your lips as a shout of praise? Do you eagerly turn to His memoirs, His personal testament, His gospels to learn more of Him? Are you making the effort to die to anything and everything that would inhibit, diminish or threaten your friendship?
"To discern where you really are with the Lord, recall what has saddened you recently. Was it the realization that you don't love Jesus enough? That you do not seek His face in prayer often enough? That you can't honestly say that the greatest thing that happened in your life was the Jesus came into your life and you heard His voice? That you do not regard finding Jesus as your supreme happiness? That you have denied His last commandment by loving His people enough?
"Or have you been saddened and depressed over a lack of human respect, criticism from an authority figure, financial problems, lack of friends, your bulging waistline?
"On the other hand, what has gladdened you recently? Reflection on your election to the Christian community? The joy of praying, 'Abba, I belong to you'? The afternoon you stole away with the gospel as your only companion? The thrilling awareness that God loves you unconditionally just as you are and not as you should be? A small victory over the selfishness? Or were the sources of your gladness and joy a new car, a Brooks Brothers suit, a movie and pizza, a trip to Paris or Peoria? Are you worshiping idols?"
Brennan Manning, Lion and Lamb
